12/30/2023 0 Comments Hallucination sportsHypothermia absolutely does not mess around. Your interior body temperature is usually around 37☌ and when it drops… Ooh, boy. That’ll probably save you for a little bit. You’ve probably got a few tins of baked beans kicking around that you can ration. So that’s food screwed, then, as no plants means way less meat as there’s nothing for the animals at the lower end of the food chain to eat, creating a slow domino effect of starvation. Imagine if John Hurt in Alien was actually a lovely tulip, and the alien was horrible ice. The water in their cells will eventually begin freezing into crystals that puncture and destroy the plant from within. Usually able to protect themselves from The Cold Doom each winter by concentrating solutes like sucralose to depress the freezing point inside their cells, this age old tactic of Mother Nature ceases to be effective. Plants also start to enter their final days. Gritting lorries, unable to work at temperatures this low, are now just giant, skidding menaces, and their grit is useless.Īt -6° C, your wine freezes, too. At least you can switch to wine.Īt -5☌, the roads are scientifically-recognised death traps. The wind chill factor can magnify the cold and make you feel like things are ten times worse than they are, and things get even bleaker if its raining, seeing as your body transfers heat energy twenty-five times quicker when wet.Īt -2° C, beer starts to freeze, rendering even your tried and tested lager-jacket obsolete. Shamefully, your own body no longer trusts you to keep your muscles warm and starts physically shaking you to jolt them back into life.Īs the weather drops still further and the temperature tiptoes below zero, that’s when things start to get a little grave. By now you’ve started shivering (also known as oscillatory muscular activity). The cold and dry air is having an absolute field day with your lungs. It isn’t life threatening, but is uncomfortable.īelow 5☌, your nose starts to run as it goes into panic mode, desperately over-moisturising itself with snot. This is the blood being drawn away from your extremities and back up towards your core, where all the important stuff lives. It also plays havoc with your fingers and toes, hands and feet, your ears, your nose, and your penis (but you already knew that). It’s not just vodka that does that to your face, no, cold does that, too. Which is why so many Soviet Russians in films look like your alcoholic uncle. If those vessels constrict too much they’ll eventually burst like jam-filled doughnuts, leaving you with a red face. Here’s how the hypothetical ice apocalypse pans out working our way from “brrrr it’s a little bit chilly, innit?” to “here lies humanity, frozen and shattered into a million pieces”.īelow 10° C, your body vasoconstricts, meaning your blood vessels begin to narrow. Well, death, obviously, but what about in the run up? The journey is sometimes more important than the destination, and let me tell you, it’s a thoroughly miserable journey. Like so many of you, as hot water hit my face and snapped me from my cryogenic stupor, I wondered: what would happen if this never stopped? Or worse… what if it just kept on getting colder? Colder and colder and colder. The heating was on overnight, a move to make dads everywhere turn mauve with anger (“Why do you need HEAT if you’re ASLEEP?”), and yet, despite my laissez-faire approach to energy consumption, it was still so cold that I had to sprint to the shower. I woke up this morning and couldn’t leave my bed.
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